Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense

Shamed be he who thinks evil of it. This is the motto of the Order of the Garter, the highest order of chivalry in England. It was founded in the mid-fourteenth century by Edward III of England. Today it includes the sovereign and the Prince of Wales, no more than twenty-four other knights and other certain members of the British Royal family and foreign monarchs. The ruling monarch alone has the power to bestow the order upon a person, it remains a very personally royal order. Last weekend I visited, along with the other scholars and several Rotarians, Windsor Palace and Eton College. Windsor Palace is the weekend home of the queen and the royal family, we were supposed to see the Mews, but...the queen was in residence and she took precedence, so we just got to see the public rooms. The chapel, St. George's Chapel, is the hereditary home of the Order, it holds the emblems of the current members and memorabilia of past members and sovereigns. The chapel is also the resting place of twelve English monarchs including Henry VIII and his wife, Jane Seymour. I just stood and stared for a few moments. How the mighty have fallen.

The term is done here, this week I have a few more classes just to finish up some things that were missed during the last two months. I don't know if I can tell you really what I've been thinking or feeling. Its been so intense at times and then at others so much time for reflection and wondering. I wonder where I will be in a year from now, I wonder again how I made it here, I reflect on the events that brought me here and I thank God for His provision. I have had so much fun with the Rotary clubs here and enjoyed talking with them and telling them about Kansas. Its so fun to tell them about some of our history, the Indians, the cowboys, Dodge City, and the Old West.

Tonight I have a book I need to finish and a few more Latin exercises to practice. I can't believe that I can look at some Latin phrases and I can tell you what they mean and why. Tomorrow, for the last Latin class of the course we read Winnie the Pooh in Latin. Oh, and someone has translated The Hobbit into Latin--Hobbitus Ille. My goal--to read J.R.R. Tolkien's work in Latin. I cannot wait to get home and to give my little brother a huge bear hug, to hold my niece, to see the starts and sunrise. I'm looking forward to my mom's cooking and the distance I can see when I drive. But this place is unimaginable. Oxford is a place that can be like any other, just another town, a place to live and work, full of humans and buildings. Then you turn a corner and face a building finished centuries earlier, walk through a doorway and the sight takes your breath away, step outside and feel the mist on your face and its magic. Thank you, :)

Thanksgiving

I give full credit to my mom, I only know how to make
them because of her. They came out pretty decent thankfully.

Thanksgiving is almost here, although here in England the only people aware of it are usually the Americans who begin to crave turkey and pumpkin pie, sweet potato casserole, stuffing, gravy and mashed potatoes. Last night some friends invited me to partake in the Regent's College Thanksgiving dinner, created by several amazing women who can cook incredibly well. I contributed only some rolls but there was a turkey that was delicious and all the fixings, there were several apple pies and pumpkin, stuffing and cranberry jelly for the rolls.

This is the treacle well of St. Frideswide, the first
person to have been at Oxford, and the well that
inspired the rabbit hole of Alice in Wonderland.

As the time here has gone on, I miss my family and my home but there are some things I am learning to be thankful for about Oxford and England. So in honor of Thanksgiving here are a few things that I am thankful for here,
1. The libraries--the Bodleian, Duke Humphrey's, Keble library, all of the books that are kept so carefully and enjoyed as the treasures of the university.
2. The rain--it rains a lot, and while it can be annoying to get to class with an umbrella and the ends of your jeans getting soaked up to your knee, I'll never be ungrateful for rain. (Result of growing up in Kansas farm country)
3. University park--a park of about 70 acres just across the street from where I live. It is a spot of wildness and nature, there are ducks and birds in the ponds, a river with a high bridge that goes into what must be fairyland, trees that are losing their leaves. The leaves are blanketing the paths and rustle gently in the breezes. I once saw two swans in the pond, did you know that swans are royal property, all swans in Great Britain belong to the queen and it is a federal offense to kill one?

This is what Oxford students do. We made the
White House out of Legos. 

4. Friends here--coming to a new place making new friends can be difficult but there are several people that have welcomed me and I have truly enjoyed getting to know them and spend time with them. One of the most interesting things is to get an entirely new perspective on life and how the world looks from a different point of view.
5. The hidden and unexpected moments of history, every now and then I walk upon something that feels like it hasn't changed in the last five hundred years.

So, like Dorothy I say that there is no place like home, but still, England is amazing. I'm still finding my feet, finding my place here but slowly I am learning to treasure and savor (savour) each moment in the day. I stop and soak in the sights and take walks through meadows, and enjoy where I am today.

Duke Humphrey's Library

I wish I could take a picture. I wish I could show you where I am right now, I wish you were here with me to see it. I am looking at 17th and 18th century books in front of me, the desk is scarred and pitted from years of use, it is connected to the bookshelves themselves. I am looking at titles like "Owen on the Epistle to the Hebrews" written in the mid-1600s, two books down is Irenaei Opera, the Work of Irenaeus, this book was written in 1675 but Irenaeus was a saint from the second century. There are Latin Bibles, Hebrew Bibles, tomes that look like they have stood guard for centuries. (Which they probably have.) I sit by a window with the blinds half closed. I look into a lawn, I think for Exeter College. The leaves have mostly fallen, but some hang on, the green grass is blanketed with yellow and red leaves. There is a reading lamp above me that provides just enough but not too much light. The ceiling is painted with the Oxford motto and crest, "Dominus illuminatio mea." The Lord is my light. I need to study, I'm looking at two books written in the seventeenth century about two of the Archbishops of Canterbury under Elizabeth I. Its just so amazing to me that these are my research books, that I am able and allowed to look at these books.

I will be here for a few hours and then go eat something and then probably come back here a while longer. You can only have pencils, no pens, and no food or drink, even water in here. Other than that, it is the perfect place and I will probably show up here more and more. As much as I love Hale Library back at Kansas State, it has nothing on this place.

I'll write more soon, but I am half over with the term and work is never done. See ya'll later.

One Month in Oxford

A little over a month ago, on September 16th, I arrived in Oxford, England. In one month I have learned enough Latin to read the first four lines of the Aenid, matriculated into the university, been down to Exeter to see the sea, and currently I am "studying" in the Radcliffe Camera in the heart of the University of Oxford.

I've made friends with students the program for a Masters in Finance and Economics.
 I tell them they need me to even out their numbers and math. Here we are dressed in our matriculation finest.

Behind me is the Keble Hall, housing both the dining hall and the library. 

We are in the Sheldonian waiting for the ceremony to start. See how excited everyone is?
We can hardly hold it in.

We are officially enrolled in the lists of the University. Now we get lunch.
This is Arianna from Italy who is one of the Masters in Finance and Econmics (MFE) people.

This past weekend I had several adventures. First I was matriculated. Now, when I first heard matriculation I was excited, it sounded official and I like being official, but I had no idea what it actually meant. Matriculation comes from the Latin verb "matricula" which means to be enrolled in the register. So every "fresher" or incoming student, both undergraduate and graduate dressed up in their sub fusc. We marched over to the Sheldonian and stood for about an hour outside, then trailed in and were carefully packed into the seats for maximum use and then the Vice-Chancellor of Oxford processed into the hall behind two officials carrying maces. The Dean of Degrees then intoned Latin to the Vice-Chancellor who lifted his cap in acknowledgement. The Vice-Chancellor replied and then spoke to us in Latin, telling us about the former Latin examination all incoming students used to have to sit and how only a vestige is left in this short ceremony. He then left once more and we filed down the winding stairs once more. However, while we were in the building, the weather had made a switch and we were about to be drenched. English weather...

My second adventure happened on Sunday. I went to church in the morning, its about a mile and a half away and I have no bike so I walked. It was a beautiful morning and after church I was able to go have lunch with several other college students at the house of one of the church families. I was there for a couple hours and then had to race back almost two miles to my room so I could grab other stuff to walk another mile for tea with my Russian friends. We talked about politics and Russia for a while until I had to leave for supper. Supper was with a Chinese couple, the guy, Kai, is a member of Keble getting an MBA, his wife is getting her second, SECOND, Ph.D. in Chinese history. We met at a real Chinese restaurant. (They ordered in Chinese.) The food was really great and really spicy, and they said I did pretty good with my chop sticks.

Those are two of my adventures. I hope you enjoyed hearing about them, they were pretty fun to live through. Now, I must go sleep so I can study more tomorrow. I will talk to you later.

Daily Life of a Student

Ok, I have a few minutes but I thought I would give you a quick glance at my past few days. This is first week of Michaelmas (pronounced Mik el mus for all those wondering) and as such, I have been running around like crazy. I alternate between walking on air in the clouds because I am rushing to class at Oxford and feeling completely overwhelmed and inadequate because I am rushing to class at Oxford.

The way my course is set up is that there are two core courses every Master of Studies in Modern European and British History takes. Then I have a Early Modern Britain Seminar, lectures and language and skills training as needed. The core courses are Theory and Methods, where we talk about the different theories and methods of historiography and some of the cutting edge techniques. This can be interesting, but also frustrating because its easy to make something much more complicated than it is by giving an idea really fancy names. The other course is Sources and Resources and that meets for the first time on Friday but so far we have been asked to look at some training for plagerism and some journal articles. The first article was written addressing a certain topic in Elizabethan England, the second by a different man challenged the first authors conclusions, saying they were wrong and the article was a load of rubbish. The first man responded and so we get to talk about historical arguments. My seminar this week is on the Restoration of Charles II. I have several book chapters that I have been looking at and will finish up tomorrow morning.

As far as lectures go, I want to go to as many as possible but....that isn't necessarily the best plan. There are several history ones that I will be attending and some theology ones on Luther, Calvin, and maybe just for fun Barthe and Bonheoffer. Finally the language and skills training include further Classical Latin, some Medieval Latin reading, Intermediate French (if I wanted I think I could move up to the Advanced group! I would not have guessed that but my grammar is good enough...I think.) and paleography. I will be taking a real course for that next term in Hilary but for now I am looking online at a training that the National Archives has.

Other than all of that, and trust me, I'm tired and out of breath most of the time, I just gave my first Rotary presentation to my home club of Eynsham. It went very well and I really enjoyed getting to meet the group. I think there will be a couple activities that I will be able to help with throughout the year. Tonight I have a swim test to be able to be on the novice women's rowing team for Keble and over the next few days I will be trying to simple stay on top of things. This weekend will be very exciting, on Saturday I will get to dress up in sub fusc, white shirt, black skirt and shoes, my academic gown and black string tie and go to the Sheldonian where all the freshers at Keble College will be officially matriculated into the University of Oxford. The ceremony is in Latin so the next question is...how much will I understand?

Thank you all for listening (reading rather) and talk to ya'll later.

Exeter and Sidbury

This last weekend I went down to Exeter along with 60 other Rotary Scholars from all of the UK. We were welcomed into the homes of various Rotarians in the area and met at the Exeter Guildhall, the building that had served as the center for city council for over 800 years. First about the Guildhall. When I walked in for the first time on Saturday morning, I glanced over at a display in the entryway. It held an old ceremonial hat and a sword sheath with a crown on one end. I looked at the plaque explaining what it was and very nearly started jumping up and down and pointing.

Cap of Maintenance and Ceremonial Sword

The Cap of Maintenance as its called and the Ceremonial Sword were gifted to the town of Exeter in 1497 after they had successfully resisted the army of Perkin Warbeck in support of Henry VII, the grandfather of Elizabeth I. Perkin Warbeck was pretending to be Richard, Duke of York, the younger brother of Elizabeth of York, Henry's wife. Richard had disappeared into the Tower of London years ago, during the reign of Richard III, the king before Henry. If Warbeck had really been York, he would have been the rightful king of England. Exeter supported the crowned and anointed king and received these symbols of his special favor. I stood there and looked at two artifacts that originally had been given by the father of the Tudor dynasty. 

The coat of arms of Exeter

Princess Henrietta

Exeter's motto Semper Fidelis was supposed to have been adopted at the suggestion of Elizabeth I after their support during the attack of the Spanish Armada, the town has had intimate connection with the Tudors and has had a history of supporting royalty. During the Civil War, Henrietta, the youngest child of Charles I, (who was beheaded) had to be left in Exeter after it became too dangerous for her mother. She was protected there until her older brother, Charles II, came to power. In reward Charles II had a portrait of Henrietta commissioned and given to Exeter. This also stands in the Guildhall. I paid a little attention to the presentations during the weekend, but I have to admit I was in a happy haze of just looking around me and realizing that the people I've only read about stood in this space five hundred years ago. It was a heady feeling. 

Garden of Judith and John

So there is a short history lesson, and while seeing the Guildhall, and being in Exeter was incredible, by far the best part of the weekend was the couple I got to stay with. Judith and John were Rotarians who had been asked to host two scholars for the weekend. They lived in Sidbury and there were five scholars who were staying with couples in that area. So the first night we went out to the Blue Ball which had stood as a pub for over four hundred years. The current building is not that old, as it had burned down not too long ago but it has since been rebuilt in replica of the old pub. 

Judith and John lived on a small farm on which stood a mill that they had helped to restore and now still works to make flour that they sell to a few stores in the area. Its a beautiful place with gardens and well-kept grounds just above the river Sid. They showed us a little bit of it in the time we had and were so gracious to us. I was able to sit up with them both nights for a little and drink some tea and talk with them about their lives and the farm. That has got to be one of the best parts of a new country--encountering the new people. They also have a beautiful golden lab, and this dog reminded me of our black lab Sadie. So I had a grand time playing with their Madge.

Statue of Sir Walter Raleigh

Hayes Barton, birthplace of Raleigh

One of the last things we had time to see was actually the birthplace of Sir Walter Raleigh. It is called Hayes Barton and is not open to the public, being owned by Clinton Devon Estates. These Estates are held, at least in part, by the 22nd Baron Clinton. This was my first interaction with the peerage of England. 

I am back at Oxford now, working on Latin and having meetings this week, for Freshers week. Its really exciting but also a little intimidating, I'm about to really start working. In a few weeks I will be actually studying at Oxford University, working towards earning a Master's degree in History from this incredible place.

Graceful Buildings and Soaring Towers

So I wish that I could send my thoughts as I walked back here and let you know what I am seeing. I don't think that pictures can really do this place justice. I walk into the main courtyard of the Bodlien Library and names like Schola Moralis Philosphiae stare back at me. They challenge me with questions, daring me to find out the secrets they have revealed to the students who have walked through their doors for centuries before me. The soaring tower, the Tower of the Five Orders looms over the courtyard, James IV and I of Scotland and England is seated as a statue on the fourth order of the Tower. I just stand there and feel so insignificant, like history has allowed me to stand at his feet while he continues to stare across space and time. Again, a little philosophic, but when I am surrounded by the School of Moral Philosophy (translation of the Latin Schola Moralis Philosophiae) perhaps that can be forgiven. 

The Tower of Five Orders

James IV and I in the Tower of Bodlien

Today I went to the Examination Schools for a program for international students. We received information about what it was going to be like, there was some free stuff for us, the free coffee and biscuits (cookies, how great!!) were really appreciated. But this place had been built specifically for the exams at the end of the Oxford years. 

Main Entrance to the Examination Schools

Ok quick update on the Oxford undergraduate system. There are three years instead of four and you take a course instead of a major. So for a history course, I have three terms per year, Michaelmas, Hilary and Trinity, and for each term I have two or maybe three modules I am taking. For those I have specific tutor with whom I meet and write papers. However, there are lectures going on all the time, and while I am not required to go to any, many of these will be very helpful for the next paper or are just really interesting. At the end of the three years, I will be tested over all three years, so I will be taking tests and writing for about a week straight. All this, or at least most of it will take place in the Examination Schools. For a place that was built for such stress and agony, it is absolutely gorgeous. 

The Virgin Mary above New College

  Today, after I got the information from the international fair I just started walking. Oh, there are so many things I want to tell you. New College, founded in the late 14th century (really new?) is approached by a winding road that blocks out the sounds of the city center. Each side is old weather stone walls that are many feet above my head. Finally you turn a corner and in front of me I see the back entrance to the college. It is a wooden door but above the door is a graceful statue of the Virgin Mary. It is so peaceful and timeless. Its just beautiful. I need to go now. I'll have more places to share soon, I hope you can see just a little bit of what I am seeing. 

Be Interesting

The Sheldonian

The title of this blog was written in chalk on the side of the Ioannou Centre where I had just finished the first class of Latin for the day. I was walking with one of my classmates and he saw the chalk written line on the wall and started to laugh. He told me that the other piece of Oxford graffiti he had seen once was "capitalism is boring." Even the graffiti of Oxford is intelligent.

Radcliffe Camera

Today was great, I went to class and studied in the Radcliffe Camera in between classes. I haven't taken a picture yet but don't worry, I will. Let me describe it for a moment. I walk down Broad Street, past Exeter College (where J.R.R. Tolkien studied as an undergraduate), to a small curved door in the wall surrounding the Sheldonian. I curve around some walls and through a couple doors, over graveled courtyards and stone walks, through the middle of a courtyard with souring walls and carved statues and gargoyles. It catches my breath every time I walk in there. The courtyard has several entrances for tourists and scholars into the Bodlien Library, the main library for Oxford University. Through another tunnel I emerge into sunlight (sometimes) and I see dark, soft green grass surrounding a building that brings to mind thoughts of ancient scholarship and beauty. I'm being a little romantic but this place is just wonderful.

St. Giles Cemetery

The Norrington Room

Ok so after class I went walking again, I went down to this AMAZING bookstore called Blackwell. It has a place called the Norrington Room that claims to have three miles of bookshelves and the longest bookshelf in England. Its wonderful. This is one picture of it that gives a hint of the glorious number of books there.

So I spent some time there and finally wound up sauntering my way back up St. Giles street to the old cemetery five minutes from my room. Its just outside of St. Giles church and the Old Parsonage Hotel. (I am hoping to have high tea there at some point.)

Well now I am back in my room and I need to finish my homework. Thanks for listening to my ramblings and romantic phrases. I'll catch you soon.

In Oxford...Unbelievable

I am sitting in my dorm room in Acland, Keble College to type this post. What can I say? Cars are driving on the wrong side of the road, I'm told to revise instead of review or study, my room is on the first floor even though I had to go up a flight of stairs and the accents every now and then cause me to repeat in my head what was said so I can understand. I walk down the street to my Latin class and I hear German, Spanish, Russian, Italian and other languages I cannot identify as well as the many different English accents in the ten minute walk. The buildings are touching on either side of the road and what buildings--they belong to another world, to fairy tales, behind wrought iron gates I catch a glimpse of beautifully kept grass in the quad of another college. I worked through my homework yesterday in the Bodlien Library, the main library of Oxford University. Everything is so different, but I can hardly stop smiling as I walk up and down the streets. I need to go find some lunch and return a temporary pass to Keble College. I will be taking pictures soon and giving you a glimpse of what I am experiencing.

One more thing though. Across the street, a little to the west and south of where I sit there is a pub called The Eagle and the Child, affectionately dubbed "The Bird and the Babe" by the Inklings. C.S. Lewis, J.R.R. Tolkien and several other brilliant Oxford writers would meet there and talk over a pint about their current projects. Lewis read drafts of the Screwtape Letters and Tolkien regaled the group with recent additions to Middle Earth. On Sunday afternoon, I was able to eat there, it is a small place, you wind through a narrow passage opening on small rooms with tables apparently randomly placed, past the bar to more tables and larger rooms. We sat in the back room where the roof was glass panes enclosing the area. The food was good and I could hardly believe that it truly was real.

Thats all for now folks, thanks for reading and catch you later.

Summer Adventures

Fort Sumter

The youth group

So this morning I purchased my ticket for London. Yes it is a little late but for some reason I couldn't quite bring myself to push the button. Don't get me wrong, I am excited but there are so many questions and I'm still very nervous about going to England for an entire year.

One of my fellow drivers at Magnolia

This summer has been amazing and intense. I've learned to drive long distance with a vehicle full of high school kids. I was one of three drivers who drove my sister and brother along with their youth group out to Tennessee for a Bible camp, and then went on out to Charleston where the other two drivers and I visited Fort Sumter, Old Town Charleston, and Magnolia Plantations. The walls of Fort Sumter are, in some parts, the original walls from the Civil War, hundreds of thousands of mortars tore the top three layers off of the walls down to where it is today. I could close my eyes and hear the echos of those mortars pounding relentlessly against the walls. It was an amazing experience, I stood at the edge of the fort and looked out across the bay and into the Atlantic Ocean. Oh it gave me thrills.

Magnolia Plantations has sixty acres of the most beautiful gardens. There are Oriental bridges across ponds, the Ashley River is the boundary on one side. It was here that General Cornwallis landed during the Revolutionary War and was able to take Charleston. There were trees that seemed to go up forever, beautiful flowers and paths that would meander past the most beautiful sights, it felt like I was in another world. However, then I was suddenly brought back to reality when we saw an alligator in the water. The water came up to the path, I could take a step and be in the water. About twenty feet away a 4-5 foot alligator was floating. The other two ladies and I looked at each other and gave a nervous laugh. So we walked a little quicker, hoping to find the end of the path a little sooner. Then we found a part of the garden where there was bamboo plants growing so thickly that it was almost dark at times. We were a little worried about the spiders, the beauty of the gardens was quickly growing old. We saw one more alligator and then a snake and we were extremely glad to leave. So the conclusion was that the Gardens are amazing, they are gorgeous but just like a rose, breath-taking beauty comes with a few scary thorns.

This summer has been an absolutely amazing experience. I've got to spend time with my family, especially with my little sister who is going to K-State in the fall. I love the people here, there are so many precious friends who mean to much to me and it has been such a joy to spend a few months just enjoying them. I'm looking forward to Oxford, looking forward to my next adventure, but I've definitely loved my time at home.

Ashland: Home Town Thoughts

I have been home for only a little over a week and I am joyfully returning to small down life. In the first week I helped work cattle, got my house ready for another graduation, remembered what I love about Ashland, and slept.

First when I got home Dad needed me to help my brother freeze brand several head of young bulls and heifers. So I joined my younger (bigger) brother and we tagged and branded and enjoyed talking together. One of the things I love the very most about being home is the horizon. In Manhattan there are hills and trees and I cannot see. Its beautiful and I love the trees and the water there but there is something about the horizon six to ten miles away and the red dirt staining the far hills orange. I cannot even describe the beauty and glory of the night sky. At school the lights of town keep the stars from really being seen but at home I live two miles from town and at night I look up and the stars go on forever.

My little sister, Abigail, graduated from Ashland High School and I got to help get the house ready for lots of company. We have a very large family and they all like to show up for graduations to say hi and give hugs and talk a lot. Abigail was valedictorian and won the Citizenship Award along with another classmate. I really love my family and it was so great to get to be there with my sister on her special day.

I went to get the mail today and I walked across Main Street. There was one vehicle that stopped to let me by, I waved, it was a lady that had known our family for years. Down the street one block was the grocery store, up the street one block was the bank and the library. I stood there for a few moments, the heat of a Kansas summer day baking my skin and smiled. It is so wonderful to be home in the midst of familiar things.

Hail, Hail, Hail, Alma Mater

Its done. I don't know exactly how I feel right now. Last Saturday, May 12th, I graduated from Kansas State University. I am officially an alumni of KSU.

This last week of school was one of the hardest I have ever been through. Mostly it was because of getting school done but also because of the thought of saying good-bye. I'm really bad at saying good-bye. When everyone else has gone, I still am waiting to say good-bye once more. There have been several times when I say good-bye once and then I come back for something or to say one more thing. Even when there is a wonderful thing waiting ahead, I have a hard time leaving a place that I have loved.

During the last week I had many papers to finish, several tests to study for and complete, and a thousand other little things to finish up for graduation weekend and to be able to leave KSU. However...I also really wanted to be able to say good-bye to some of my friends. West 3 had a cook out. I went to watch the Avengers after I submitted two papers on Wednesday. I had way too many cups of coffee and had many hours of study dates in Hale. I went to a super secret spot (the first floor of Hale library behind the stacks of bookshelves) with my roommate. I finally returned all the books underneath my bed. (There were thirty at one point checked out for research papers.) My roommate and I took pictures to remember our wonderful room. And then suddenly I was done with tests, papers were turned in, and I had to pack my room.

There were only five of us left in the hall at that point and the boys had all packed. They came down and talked to my roommate and I as I attempted to start to pack up my room. We got a start but quickly the night left and I had to go to bed.





The next morning came very quickly and I had to be at Bramlage Coliseum by 7:30 a.m. for the 8:30 a.m. graduation. The College of Arts and Sciences like to make their students work for their diploma. But I got to graduate surrounded by my history buddies--students that I had been in classes for the past four years. We talked about futures and teased each other about old jokes. Finally, I walked across the stage, they gave me the case for the diploma and it was done. For a moment I felt grown-up, adult, like I knew what I was doing. Then I saw a good friend and he whispered, "Don't trip."

I am home now. I'm working on finishing up unpacking my car and putting things away in my room but its a slow process. Its also very different to be home and to know that I'm home for good. Memories are being processed and while I am so excited for what comes next, college was wonderful and its very bittersweet for now.

Last Few Weeks of School

I am currently sitting in Radina's Coffeehouse in the Aggieville business district of Manhattan, Kansas. I have only two weeks more before I graduate. Many people say it, but it is a brand-new sentiment for me. I can't believe I'm graduating. In my closet my black gown waits patiently for its chance to shine. (although I must admit I've worn it a few times around my room, just because it is really cool.) I have the tassel and mortar board hat, the cords and everything is ready. Before I get to wear them though, I have to survive final papers and finals.

Climbing on an old bridge.

My roommate and I getting ready to leave.

We weren't really the best rowers. And we did not know where
 we were going but somehow we were in front.

One of the hammocks was torn and so Lydia and I shared a hammock for the night.

My sunglasses were broken accidentally so we made a smiley face with the pieces.

The morning sun on the foggy river was just gorgeous.

Besides papers and tests and homework, the other thing that has been occupying my time is last adventures and spending time with the wonderful people I've met in the last four years. This last weekend, April 20 and 21, I went canoeing and camping with several friends. We went down the Blue River, stayed the night on an island with beavers, coyotes in the distance, and a boy yelling in his sleep very close by. It was freezing cold, breath-taking beautiful and absolutely wonderful. I've wanted to do that for the last four years, it just hadn't worked out for me to plan it.

In the next two weeks I will finish strong. I am very close to a very big milestone in my life. It will be bittersweet, I sent in the last of my paperwork for Keble College and I will be hearing back soon about accommodations and the contract. Yet, I have built some incredible relationships here that will be hard to leave. Now, back to my homework.

Waiting and Preparing

The weeks and months are simultaneously flying by and stretching endlessly out in front of me. It is only a little over two months before I graduate from Kansas State University. Then there will only be the swift summer months and I shall be leaving for England.

21 Rotary Scholars at the 2012-13 Mid-West
 Orientation Seminar

Last weekend, March 2nd and 3rd, I went to Kansas City for the Mid-West Rotary Ambassadorial Scholar Orientation. There were 21 scholars, mostly from the mid-West and preparing to disperse all over the world. We were given an overview of what Rotary is and what they have been doing, chances to talk with past ambassadors, and a chance to talk with others who are also going to be an Ambassador next year. It was only a weekend but it was really wonderful. I spoke with young women who are researching human trafficking or wanting to make an impact on global health. Young men were interested in expanding financial literacy, working as diplomats, or working to connect ideas to allow them to multiply. The level of ability and the drive to make an impact was inspiring. At the banquet on the final night the program for the evening was a two minute speech from each of the scholars answering "how am I going to change the world?" One answer given was a quote by Howard Thurman, "Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive."

Finally, I just received the college acceptance letter. I have been officially accepted to Keble College at Oxford University. The next steps will be to start working on housing questions and of course finishing these last two months at K-State. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this and for your support in this opportunity.

The First Steps

One week ago today on January 23 I received a plain brown envelope that changed my life. It might seem a little over dramatic to say that but it is true. The letter had a stamp from the Old Boy's School, Oxford. As I walked back to my room with my cousin from dinner I remember saying, "I feel like I'm walking to my execution." For the last few years I had worked for this and for the last fifteen years I had dreamed about this moment. I could barely believe it was actually here. Finally, I got back to my room and my wonderful roommate was standing in the doorway. She was jumping up and down she was so excited for me. I took the letter and just stared at it for a few seconds, I don't think I was breathing. I opened up a corner, feeling rather like Grandpa Joe from the original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as he slowly opens the candy bar to see if there is a Golden Ticket inside. I saw the word "impressed" and Lydia was saying, "Hurry up, hurry up!" I ripped the top of the envelope the rest of the way and the words "delighted to inform you" greeted my eyes and I screamed like a little girl at a teen rock concert.

Its been an entire week, a week of getting to stare at this letter, to see it in the morning when I get up and to try to let it sink in. Oxford is more than just a school for me, its more than a line on a resume, and the journey to get there began back in July. Well at least the first hint that I might make it started there. The semester before was a series of working for applications and going through excruciating interviews where I felt like a little girl playacting. In February I applied to the Rhodes and the Marshall scholarships, at that time they committee felt there were other candidates who would be the better choice than I. Mid-April I interviewed for the Manhattan district Rotary Ambassadorial Scholarship and that was a disappointment as well.

Standing with friends the day of the
interview with Rotary Club.

Finally, that summer I found out that my home district Rotary Scholarship didn't have its competition until July. So in an attempt to have one more shot I sent my application through the Dodge City Rotary club and through them to Wichita. In early July I went to Wichita and interviewed for the scholarship on Saturday. Sunday was a bridal shower for my sister in Lincoln, NE and after that was finished we were going to a garden to take more pictures. On the way there I saw that I had missed a call from a Wichita number. I stared at it, and almost hit my soon-to-be brother-in-law's car, thankfully I hit the breaks soon enough. That day I found out that I had received the scholarship and suddenly there was a chance, a slim chance for Oxford to happen. The next step was for Rotary International to decide to send me to my first choice school. In September, I received an email that Rotary had decided that they had assigned me to Oxford University and I set down to seriously work on the application. I needed a research proposal, writing samples, a CV, recommendation letters and a transcript. I spent hours going through the Oxford website, looking for the programme I most wanted and would offer the best opportunity. Finally, I submitted my application for the Master of Studies in Modern European and British History.

I look forward to sharing my experiences and the wonder of this opportunity. Elizabeth Tudor was rumored to have said, "This is the Lord's doing and it is marvelous in our eyes." Although it was probably recorded by a flattering Protestant biographer, it does seem highly appropriate, both then and now. I still have to sit down and remind myself, this is real. My dream has become a reality.

Thank you so much to all of you who have helped me and who have invested in this endeavor.